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Bryan: For all the herculean effort and drama of going to the mission field, it may come as a surprise to learn that the most difficult journey a missionary may make is the return journey home. While we rightly talk a lot about the difficulty of preparing for the field, there's a lot less emphasis on preparing to come home. And homecoming has its own peculiar challenges which can be downright tricky. This week, Brooks is joined by his wife, Nina, as they answer a question from Hannah, who asks, "How do you readjust well back into life and new ministry in the States after being a missionary for so long?"
Brooks: This is a really good question that Hannah's asking, because a lot of missionaries don't think through what it's like to come back to their home contexts. There used to be this idea that people are going to go to the mission field and we're all going to die on the mission field for Jesus. And praise God, a lot of people don't. They come back, but sometimes when they come back, they haven't thought through the ramifications or what it will be like when they step back into the church hopefully as a normal church member. And so Hannah, because you asked this question and I think there's a lot of other ladies out there, I asked Nina, my wife, if she would step in on this podcast and just give some thoughts as we stepped back in and some things from a lady's perspective. Nina, any thoughts on this, the question that Hannah's asking about returning from the mission field?
Nina: Yeah, Hannah. Actually, this is a question I get asked kind of frequently because you know, people who are preparing to go— there's so much that wraps up into leaving. There's so much saying goodbye, so much recalibrating what your life will be like. And then the thought of coming back home after all that you've been able to walk through by God's grace and the things that He's brought you through— it just seems daunting, and especially for those who have been on the field and are looking at returning.
I think one of the things that even just personally I found is that it's really important, whether you're going or whether you're coming home, to have your identity rooted in Christ— not as a missionary, not as, you know, this has been who you have, what you've been doing for the last however many years. It's kind of tricky in that because that's kind of what you're known as at your sending church. Often you're the missionary. And so to come back home after all of that, it's like, who are you? Who are your people? Who do you minister to? All these things.
And I think that's one of the things that a lot of missionaries struggle with coming back. Like, you think it's going to be great— I'm going to be back with my people, I'm going to be back at my church. And then you kind of get there and, well, oftentimes you deal with reverse culture shock. I remember thinking when we came back home, it's like, okay, I know who I've been in Papua New Guinea. I know who I've had to minister to and I know who my people were and I know what I was supposed to do. But then coming back, it's like, am I the person who is at all the sporting events? Am I the church person? Am I the Radius person? It just kind of depended on what role we were playing at that time and not just having a certain set of people to be pouring into.
But then you have the reverse culture shock of like, I need to buy a house. I need to buy cars. I need to buy furniture. I don't even know what Starbucks order to put in because that's overwhelming. And it's just a very overwhelming feeling. And so I think to go back to who you are in Christ: that is your identity. It's not in even who you're ministering to. It's who you are in Him. And I don't mean to make that sound hyperspiritual or trite or anything like that, but I truly believe that with all my heart.
It takes a lot of faith to go. And in some ways, not in all ways, but in some ways, it almost felt harder to come back because of what we'd been through and the richness of what we had experienced over there to come back to, what do I do here in a land that has everything, and how do I not get sucked into the American culture and sucked into materialism and still keep the thought of "this world is temporary" in my mind when I'm trying to look at homes and cars and figure out all these things. So it's kind of a loaded question. Obviously it's tricky, but I just appreciate you're asking that because I think a lot of people want to know. And again, just rooted in Christ, who you are there first, and I think God's grace will cover the rest.
Brooks: Yeah, that's really helpful. So when Nina and I came back to the United States, first and foremost, we wanted to go back to the church that sent us out. And too often missionaries, because of what they have done overseas, are lauded— and in many good ways. Paul speaks of those who have gone out from the church, to give them respect for nearly dying, for seeing the gospel go to other places. But in the same sense, it's really good and mature and right for a missionary to settle back in and to be a regular church member, just to be an ordinary church member, not to immediately step into being an elder or a deacon or any of those leadership positions. I thought that for our return to the United States was really helpful. That implies that you have a good sending church that will be in line with that as well.
We looked at a few different occupations. This is just straight up— if you were overseas and you learned a language, let alone two languages, and you saw a church planted, you're never going to lack for options for what to do in the next stage. Those people are very rare who have seen churches planted, who have learned languages, who have gone through deep waters, and now they're returning to their passport country. That's going to always be a very small group of people. And so I wouldn't necessarily, for returning missionaries, worry too much about that. Even if they haven't done the language side of things, if they've been faithful overseas, they will not lack for options.
Agencies can help members as they're getting closer to that departure point. Most often, again, if you've been faithful, the agency is going to find a place for you to fit. There will naturally be places for you to fit, but they'll make some up many times just to keep you in because you have so much institutional wisdom and also wisdom in country. Those are just things that happen often with returning missionaries.
But those were our experiences coming back. We really appreciated how our home church helped us kind of segue. We went for a few months at the church apartments, stayed there while we house hunted and got our feet on the ground. Nina and I talk a lot— we have these memories of going through the grocery store and just almost being paralyzed by the amount of choices that are available just in the coffee and tea aisle. And then the amount of choices in the cereal aisle just blow you away, where there was like two cereals over in Papua New Guinea. Was it going to be Nutri-Grain today or is it going to be Wheat Bix? Those are your two options, where yeah, there's just endless choices in California.
But by God's grace, all of these things, as you step back in, if you keep, like Nina said, your identity in Christ first and foremost— and the way we keep that first and foremost practically, I believe, is through being a faithful church member and you settle into that groove. You settle into those people. Those are helpful things. And then there are other things that will find their right place as you continue to seek the Lord and as you segue back into your passport country.
Bryan: If you're interested in learning more about Brooks and Nina's mission to an unreached tribe in Papua New Guinea, visit missionary.com to pick up a copy of Chronicle of Yembi. Through a collection of personal photographs and mementos, Chronicle tells the story of their 13-year effort to plant an indigenous church among the Yembi. If you have a question you'd like to hear answered on Ask Missionary, drop us a note through the website, on social media, or in the comments on this episode. And don't forget to subscribe and join us next week for our episode on the significance of church membership for missions. Thanks for listening.