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Bryan: After being called to the field, aspiring missionaries have many things to prepare. They must have an important and difficult conversation letting people know their plans. One of the hardest of these conversations would be with their parents. Telling their parents of their plans to become a missionary is a difficult and delicate task and might look a little different based on whether their parents are Christians. The parents might be sad to hear you're moving across the world. They might fear for your life, for safety. They might even think you're making the wrong decision. And even if they are fully supportive, they still will struggle with this news. Let's listen in as Brooks Buser offers advice on this important question that Eric asks: "How do I explain to my parents that I want to give my life to missions and take the gospel to the unreached?"
Brooks: Well, this is maybe one of the most important questions out there today. There are a lot of theological questions. This one's highly personal for young people that have saved parents and young people that have unsaved parents. And so I want to go to three main points. One is just general wisdom, and then two is to our Bibles, and then three is to history.
The first thought on this would be that, one, you're going to deal with this in a different way if you have unsaved parents versus if you have saved parents. This should be within the realm of possibility. It should be within the realm of understanding if you have saved parents—those who understand their Bibles and who understand the Great Commission. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. Sometimes it's just as hard for saved parents as it is for unsaved parents to talk about their kids leaving to go someplace, and then especially if they've got grandkids that are going with them, to go to a place where the medical care is not nearly as good, the educational system has some serious gaps, and there's all sorts of things that parents and grandparents can rightly point to and go, this is going to be very hard, not just for you but for us.
And so I think to handle those things in wisdom—if you have saved parents, take them to good conferences. Introduce them to your pastors, especially, and this is the practical wisdom: your pastor should know about this. This should be a team effort, so to speak. Your church coming alongside your family, especially those that are struggling with this, taking them out to coffee, helping explain some of the nuances of what you're getting into. Sometimes parents have a way of listening to their kids and then they look across the table and they see them back like they were 5 years ago or when they were 10 years old or 12 years old. And just to hear from someone that's a few more years down the track, it's really helpful for your parents.
I will say that for unsaved parents this can be incredibly challenging. It sounds a lot like you've lost your mind. That you're heading where to do what? We didn't send you to college for that. That's not how we raised you. There's just going to be a lot of challenges. This is part of the reason I lead Radius, this school down in Mexico that trains English speakers (that's why we're down in Mexico—we teach them how to learn another language and Spanish is the test case). But we have a week, we call it parents weekend, and that week the parents come and they get to see how their student is doing, see how they're living. And they also get to meet—and this is probably the most important part— hey get to meet 40 to 50 other students that, if they think their child has lost their mind, well, there's some others that have as well. And then they get to meet the faculty who have their own kids overseas. And that's just incredibly reassuring.
So my general rules of thumb for parents, saved or unsaved: go slow, be gentle, don't jam it down their throat, be patient. Some of these things take years to come around, for parents to see fruit and to come out and visit you. I wouldn't have them visit every year, but I think at some point for them to come out and to put eyes on where you're living, what kind of food you're eating, how well you're doing, how you know the language, how you're comfortable in those environments: that tends to comfort any parent's heart.
So one, I would be gentle and I would make sure that your church is involved. Two, I think probably the best place I go to when I think of this is Luke 18. There is the story of the rich young ruler that starts off this passage and how he came and he wanted to be a disciple. He wanted to know "what must I do to be saved." And Jesus gently puts His finger on something in that young man's life that he will not let go. This passage is not about money. Most people misinterpret this passage to be about finances or some sort of money-related, greed-related issue. This is about what's dearest to your heart. And the wonderful aspect to the story as the narrative unfolds and you get down to verse 28 and you see the rich young ruler has walked away, he's not willing to give up what is dearest to him, which is his money and Peter responds in verse 28, Peter said, "see, we have left our homes and followed You." And He said to them, "Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God who will not receive many times more in this time and in the age to come, eternal life."
Jesus puts His finger on the thing that is dearest to Peter and to so many others: the family. To leave behind brothers and parents and children and aunts and uncles and grandparents. The implication is, we saw that rich young ruler and what he couldn't walk away from. We've walked away from everything. What will there be for us? And Jesus says in this lifetime — that's the missionary community. I believe that's those who become closer to you in many ways than brothers, blood brothers. There is this unique unity. The only other place I've seen it is in the military, where you become so close with those who are going through the same kinds of suffering. Peter alludes to this in 1 Peter 5. We draw courage from our brothers going through the same things. God will give us back even what we have lost in family relationships for those who step out in His name. And I believe this passage specifically speaks to missionaries. And so I take great heart in that. I know many who have left homes and families take great heart in Jesus' promise. There will be much more in this life and in the life to come for those who have done this.
And then finally, I look at history. I look at Adoniram Judson. If you've never read To the Golden Shore, I believe it's the best missionary biography ever written. It's by Courtney Anderson. In the early days, Judson is being groomed in many ways to be the next big pastor in New England, which was the epicenter of Christendom at that time. And Judson's sister and parents find out, and they're so excited, and they're going on and on about it. And I don't remember exactly what page it is, but it's in the first quarter of the book, and Judson is dying inside. The passage said that he knew he must wound them, but he didn't know how deeply he would have to. And he turns to his sister Abigail, who's going on and on about how he's going to be one of New England's great future pastors. And he says to Abigail, "Abigail, I'll never be a pastor here. I have much further to go."
Many of you out there, you have much further to go. I pray your parents can come on board with this. I pray your brothers and sisters, your aunts and uncles, your grandparents, and I pray that you find the courage, the grace to speak to them in a loving, gentle way. And by God's grace, for them to see that this is an investment that is worthy of all eternity. These are not easy issues. These are challenging things. And I'll be praying for you in it. It is one of the most challenging things for everyone that I know, especially those going to unreached language groups, to talk through this issue and then to live through it. What will be accorded on that great day for how many parents and grandparents who gave up so much for the glory of our God to the ends of the earth?
Bryan: Visit missionary.com to read "Trust Always in Christ," a powerful excerpt from a letter from William Carey to his missionary son. If you have a question you would like to hear answered on Ask Missionary, drop a comment on this episode, get in touch with us on social media, or send us an email through missionary.com and your question may be featured on this show. And don't forget to subscribe to the show to get notified when the next episode airs next week. Thanks for listening.